Doorsteps of Heaven

‘Everything you ever do,’ Paul says, ‘will be from the inside looking out.’ My stomach drops as I begin to catch myself. Inside looking out, the words rattle back and forth in my head. I never feel that way, I always feel like I am on the outside looking in.

‘Believe the resurrection,’ Paul continues, ‘it’s the historical reality of you inside.’

I begin to think of how many jobs I have wanted. How I was outside. All of the friends and girlfriends, I was outside. My own family, I was outside. I have awakened each morning feeling like I was outside without even knowing it.

‘You better start living this reality, this is eternity, this is all coming with us.’ I have no words to add to that. ‘This is the inside.’

‘You can’t drop your deeds at heaven’s doorstep,’ Paul says, ‘with fingers crossed. Naivete is no virtue.’

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About Rene Diebenkorn

Lifetime Artist. ETC.

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