The Belly of God

An object is monstrous if by its magnitude it annihilates the end which its concept constitutes.

The Critique of the Power of Judgement. Immanuel Kant.

‘O this gets better with every mention,’ Paul drops into downward dog.

Surely, it is no argument of indigence in God that he is inclined to communicate of his infinite fullness. It is no argument of the emptiness or deficiency of a fountain, that it is inclined to overflow.

Dissertation on the End for which God Created the World. Jonathan Edwards.

‘A fountain overflowing, yes, a fountain dropping razor sheets of water off the edge,’ Paul lunges his hands behind his heels, ‘then sucked beneath and back into the fountain-head only to gush forth again.’

Later that evening eating,  sitting at a tree stump eating, Paul remarked, ‘God has no gap between thinking and action.’   I thought of how my hunger split the pea beneath my fork. My hunger lived in the pea beneath my fingers, how the pea splits in my stomach to fill me.

My inability to quench the little desire, the little emptiness of fullness.

‘As a living being, he thinks and he creates at once.’ Paul cracks a walnut between his knuckles. I can see the hunger in the whites of Paul’s hands. ‘But, this think-create, think-create cycle is all there is,’ Paul’s mouth opens, ‘by now, he is too big.’ Paul’s teeth sparkle, his tongue drools. ‘Too perfect.’

Paul drops to the floor, twitching, splicing his finger’s behind his ears. ‘Jesus is a gluton, he desires, but he’s not hungry. He must eat.’

‘The origins seem obscured- annihilated. We see no beginning, we see only a thirst for more.’ Paul writes in the sand with his tongue. ‘The only bite large enough would be from himself.’

‘Like taking a mouthful of sand,’ Paul makes his hands dance, ‘God is infinite fullness, ex nihilo. Call that monstrous if you like.’


About Rene Diebenkorn

Lifetime Artist. ETC.

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